SA’s all black XV could take on allcomers

Lizo-Gqoboka

Big bruiser Lizo Gqoboko.

Given the zeitgeist, and it’s not a pretty place right now, it’s been a useful exercise putting together an “all black” SA rugby team.

Interestingly, it was less a problem filling in the 15 spots than it was who to leave out. There’s no room, for instance, for Beast Mtawarira, mainly because I’m a big fan of meaty Lizo Gqoboka, who deserves a chance with a big team.

Also, Sharks’ loosie Terra Mthembu is a terrific player, big, strong and bustling, but Carr has had a taste of Bok rugby, so gets the nod.

I’m a supporter of Bongi Mbonambi, but Scarra Ntubeni is a sharper operator at lineouts.

Trevor Nyakane is a loosehead, but he’s played tighthead and is too good to leave out, so the number three jersey is his.

Zane Kirchner astonishingly made this weekend’s Bok team. He doesn’t make mine. Nor does Cheslin Kolbe, but he’d be close.

Cornal Hendricks is in the Bok squad, too, but Mvovo is stronger and a better finisher. Remember the name Lukhanyo Am, a centre from Border. He’s not in the mix here, but you’ll be hearing about him soon enough.

In New Zealand, the Maoris – players qualify by being a member of Maori whakapapa or genealogy – often field a Maori-only team, but the SA dynamic is far different. The bunch below would never get to actually play together.

Even so, I’d bet that the team goes damn well in a green and gold jersey. It’s full of pace, attitude, power and talent.

SA RUGBY’S BLACK DIAMONDS

15 JP Pietersen (Wild Knights)

14 Lwazi Mvovo (Sharks)

13 Lionel Mapoe (Lions)

12 Juan de Jongh (Stormers)

11 Bryan Habana (Toulon)

10 Elton Jantjes (Lions)

9 Rudy Paige (Bulls)

8 Nizaam Carr (Stormers)

7 Oupa Mahoje (Cheetahs)

6 Siya Kolisi (Stormers)

5 Luvuyiso Lusaseni (Lions)

4 Cornell Hess (Kings)

3 Trevor Nyakane (Bulls)

2 Scarra Ntubeni (Stormers)

1 Lizo Gqoboka (Kings)

Female MMA superstar would give Mayweather hell

hbox-mcgregor-man

Margaret McGregor putting the hurt on Loi Chow in 1999.

Floyd Mayweather jnr has a new rival for the best self-publicist in sport: UFC champion Ronda Rousey.

There isn’t a bigger figure in female sport than Rousey, thanks in the main to her role as a totem in the macho world of Mixed Martial Arts. She’s a star, she can fight and she’s become a cultural icon.

She got in a good jab a few weeks ago by wondering aloud how Mayweather felt to be “beat by a woman” (after winning an ESPN award) and has followed up by claiming she would beat him in an all-in fight.

Mayweather shot back snarkily:  “I’ve yet to see any MMA fighter, or other boxer, make over $300 million in 36 minutes. When she can do that, then call me.”

Hear the drumbeats across social media and see the publicists circling like vultures overhead and you sense that something may be in the works. Remember, for boxing – and MMA – the weirder the better.

We’ve had one-legged boxers, 50-year-old champions and even midgets fighting. A man against a woman seems a natural step in fighting’s often warped evolution.

Except it’s already happened.

Sixteen years ago former drug-dealer Margaret McGregor made history when she beat part-time jockey Loi Chow in a four-rounder in Seattle. It was regarded as a freak show and the Mercer Arena was packed out.

Rousey concedes Mayweather would beat her in a boxing match, but insists she would prevail in a MMA contest. Such a bout would create massive hype, although, not surprisingly, this path has also been treaded.

A few months ago Brazilian amateur Larissa Schroeder belted Fernando Lemos in an MMA bout.

Part of the reason Rousey’s threat has gained such a strong foothold in the public consciousness is because Mayweather is the most polarising individual in sport. He gets up people’s noses. Those same people would love to see him defeated, particularly by a woman.

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Ronda Rousey during her shoot for ESPN Magazine.

There’s no boxer equipped to do the job at welterweight, so why not endorse the claims of a ferocious female who would likely chop him down in a no-rules fight?

The irony would be glorious: a man with assault and domestic violence convictions getting whipped by a woman.

Rousey’s grappling game would cause him endless trouble and she’d likely have him on his backside in seconds thanks to her excellent judo pedigree – she competed at the2014  Olympic Games.

Will it happen?

Probably not.

But, damn, it’s good to dream.

Heyneke still the man for the job

 

Heyneke+Meyer+LpIinbWfToFm(Despite this column being written two days before the Boks were belted by Argentina, the sentiment remains – any suggestion of jettisoning Meyer is daft. With no obvious replacement in the wings, he should be going nowhere).

Heyneke Meyer may have his detractors, but the one thing he has added is stability to the Springbok cause. It’s not something you could say of his three predecessors: Peter de Villiers, Jake White and Rudolf Straeuli.

All three endured rows and ructions – and sometimes caused them – but mercifully Meyer’s tenure has largely been free of such issues. He’s been able to concentrate on the rugby.

Statistically, Meyer now ranks in the top third of the 10 Bok coaches who have held the position since readmission in 1992. Kitch Christie, with his 100 percent return, including the 1995 World Cup, stands atop the list, followed by Nick Mallett (71 percent) and White and Meyer (both 67 percent).

Meyer hasn’t worked out the magic formula to dominating the All Blacks – De Villiers won more often than not against them – but two wins in every three Test matches against all-comers is a solid ratio. It means he isn’t nearly under the sort of pressure that was exerted on the like of Ian McIntosh (33 percent), Carel du Plessis (37 percent) or Rudolf Straeuli (52 percent).

Not unexpectedly, word on rugby’s verdant grapevine is that Meyer has been offered a two-year-extension on his four-year contract. He started in 2012 and his natural term of office would have ended after this World Cup.

There’s nothing wrong with this habit, particularly as coaching cycles often run this way. Coaches often get bored and complacent. Bringing in fresh energy and ideas is no bad thing.

But this doesn’t necessarily apply in Meyer’s case. Although the Boks could implode at the World Cup, you suspect they won’t. Apart from 2003, when there were other factors at play, not least the Staaldraad shemozzle, the Boks have always been well in the mix. World Cup rugby suits them.

Meyer’s broad plan seems to be shifting into place and his enthusiasm for the job is undimmed. He’s still juggling the mercury in balancing experience with form, but he’s moving the right way. He’s also making solid strides towards tacking onto the Bok game. He has them playing with more ambition and belief, something the players have often struggled with.

Meyer will be glad to secure another two years because his tenure would have flown by and he will feel the job is unfinished, whether they win the World Cup or not.

The other reality is that no-one else is banging down the door to do the job. Until recently there were always top names in the mix, but many have faded away.

Mallett isn’t interested, Brendan Venter is too busy, Allister Coetzee is packing for Japan and John Mitchell, an uitlander, has no hope.

There are probably only three realistic candidates who line up, none of them convincing. Johan Ackerman of the Lions is a coach on the rise. He’s done great work with a team of bricklayers and plumbers (almost) and you wonder how he might go with real gold in his hands.

Still, he hasn’t won anything of substance. The jury is still out on him.

Dawie Theron is in SA Rugby’s coaching structures – he looks after the under-20s – and has enjoyed some success. But the step-up to the big leagues is something altogether different. He would need to make an impact here to stake a real claim.

Little-known Johan van Graan is another. He is one of the quiet tinkerers in Meyer’s staff. The one measure of his excellent abilities is what the players think of him. To a man, they believe he is outstanding.

His one failing is that he, too, hasn’t held down a frontline job, although he was recently courted by both the Bulls and the Stormers. He has a familial connection at the Bulls (his dad is chief executive), so sensibly opted out of that move.

He couldn’t come to financial terms with the Stormers, so stayed put with the Boks where he continues to grow and learn.

Although the man in the street will largely judge Meyer on how the Boks shape at the World Cup, it will be no bad thing if he keeps his office at SA Rugby’s HQ in Plattekloof.

For now, there is no-one better. – © Sunday Tribune

Bok muscle vs Pumas’ passion play

 

rugby-los-pumas

 

  1. It doesn’t matter how the Springboks play. The Pumas seem to be perpetually rebuilding. Away from home, they haven’t a hope.
  2. This is the perfect time for Jean de Villiers to return. We won’t be expecting too much. Anything beyond a solid, promising return will be a bonus.
  3. This match is all about momentum, specifically getting some. With four defeats in their past six matches, the three most recent on the bounce, winning is a habit they must desperately reclaim.
  4. The battle of the packs will be worth the price of admission alone. The Argentines treat scrummaging like it’s their birthright. We’ll know everything we need to know about Vince Koch after this.
  5. Lood de Jager may be baby-faced, but he plays like a meneer. Tomorrow is another important step in his education towards becoming a mainstay.
  6. The ‘missed chances’ refrain is becoming tiresome. The Rugby World Cup is 42 days away. Time to pull finger.
  7. You want emotion? You want drama? You want tears? Don’t miss Argentina belting out Himno Nacional Argentino, their national anthem. Sensacional!
  8. At 33 he may be long in the tooth, but Argentine playmaker Juan Martin Hernandez is rugby royalty. Butch James once called him the best player in the world. Enjoy him – he’s a treat.
  9. Time is running out for World Cup selection. Fringe players can’t afford to mess up. It adds needle to what shapes up to be a fun game.
  10. There’s some real juice on the Bok bench. Could be fun unleashing Lwazi Mvovo, Siya Kolisi, Cobus Reinach and Pat Lambie late in the game.

 

 

Boxing – often a bloody mug’s game

Welterweight Bongo Lipembo in action in SA a few years ago. Pic: N-Squared.

African boxing has always been fertile ground for chancers.

The loose regulations and frequent indifference to common sense make it a fascinating, and often fraught, place to do business.

The latest tomfoolery took place in Namibia at the weekend when Bongo Lipembo, a great little fighter from the DRC resident in South Africa, fought Namibia’s Bethuel Ushona for the IBO’s African belt.

The last time we heard from Lipembo he was down in the dumps, having had his license withdrawn by Boxing South Africa on account of a serious health condition.

It was a tragic end to a promising career, particularly as Lipembo was fresh off a KO win over former world champion Isaac Hlatshwayo.

“We unfortunately found out that he has hepatitis B. This is a virus that stays permanently in one’s blood, so there’s no way he can continue boxing,” Golden Gloves publicist Brian Mitchell said in 2012. “We tried to get medical attention for him because he’s a really great fighter. But once it turned out to be this condition, there was nothing much that we could do.”

Given that boxing is a “blood sport” and Lipembo’s condition was well known among those in the boxing community, it’s a staggering slip-up by the Namibian Boxing Federation.

In the event, Lipembo lost, hardly surprising given his long absence from the game.

His participation is another black eye for the sport, but boxing is nothing if not resilient.

Controversy and finagling is its lifeblood.

Little wonder some call it a mug’s game.

It often is.

Game-changer in my car

podcast1Anyone unfortunate enough to schlep around Joburg knows just how tedious the traffic can get.

Throw in the occasional bout of load-shedding and minutes can turn into hours.

Radio used to be the go-to option to jive things up, but in Joburg the choices are limited: news stations tend to be dominated by an obsession with our infantile and indulgent political set, or the latest crime by the whackjobs who seem to lurk on every corner. Or hosts with faux laughs and a PC mindset.

Not great listening.

Music stations vacillate between good stuff and bubble gum; that is, when they aren’t pumping out vacuous advertising.

(Why is local radio advertising so persistently dreadful and unimaginative?)

Short of digital radio, which is thankfully on the way, our options are limited.

Happily, my driving experience has been turned upside down in the past few weeks since I discovered the joy of podcasts, specifically the “Serial” phenomenon (http://serialpodcast.org/).

When you’re going to test drive a new “medium”, it helps to trip over the most popular podcast in history, as I did. It’s been downloaded 68 million times.

The 12-part podcast focuses on a real-life 16-year-old case involving the strangling death of a Baltimore high school student and her former 17-year-old boyfriend (who is now serving a life sentence for the crime). Stick with me, it’s not all grim.

The research and reportage is staggering in scope and scale. The only disappointment is being unable to listen from beginning to end (although you could if you were road-tripping). It’s compelling and a reminder of the virtues of radio’s golden age.

Serial

Serial is the spinoff of the popular US radio programme This American Life and sets the standards for all to follow. Not surprisingly, many others have tried to copy the formula.

The podcast poses so many questions and options you’re none the wiser whether the guy who got nailed for the crime deserves to be in prison or not. I kept changing my mind.

There is tons of other good stuff if you know where to look. One of the best resources can be found here: http://longform.org/podcast

The smart folk at Longform regularly invite some of America’s outstanding writers and reporters to chat about their craft. The writers tend to come from many of the great reservoirs of good writing, like Grantland, The New York Times, GQ, Buzzfeed, Vanity Fair, Slate and the New Yorker.

This latest is with Noreen Malone, who wrote this  week’s cracking cover story in New York magazine on Bill Cosby: https://longform.org/posts/longform-podcast-bonus-noreen-malone

I’m an avowed boxing and writing fan, so the interview with Brin-Jonathan Butler, who wrote A Cuban Boxer’s Journey, was a particularly special treat (http://longform.org/posts/longform-podcast-102-brin-jonathan-butler).

Butler’s gift for writing is allied to a remarkable instinct and eye for detail. It helps that he’s fairly obsessive, too, which means he truly gets to the heart of his story. His encounters with great Cuban fighters are remarkable and he tells the stories with rich clarity.

There was a nice line from Politico writer Jack Shafer, who I just listened to: “Journalists don’t have thin skin. They have no skin. They are easily offended.”

There are more treats.

As “Death, Sex and Money” describes itself,  it’s a podcast about the big questions and hard choices that are often left out of polite conversation. It’s excellent, too, with tons of good listening.

Check it out here: http://www.wnyc.org/shows/deathsexmoney/

I’m sold.

Give it a try. You might like it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy defeat not a good look

Rugby flafJannie du Plessis was bang on the money last Saturday.

Speaking in the aftermath of the ferocious Springbok match against the All Blacks, he waxed philosophical: “When they say you’re good, you’re not as good as they say – and when they say you’re shit you’re not as shit as they say!”

He was referring to himself after weeks of enduring quiet whispers about his form and fitness. Yet he might have been talking about the Boks, who are caught in that twilight zone, in the public consciousness at least, between being good and perhaps not very good.

The one thing that is palpably dangerous is being satisfied with a brave, heroic defeat, but a defeat nonetheless. It says something about our psyche that we took the path of highlighting the positives rather than going into mourning for losing to the All Blacks. That’s how it used to be, when defeats were only ever ugly, sombre affairs.

We’ve dropped our standards in recent years – 15 wins out of 52 Tests against the All Blacks since readmission – and mostly resort to a shrug of the shoulders.

It’s not a good look.

South Africa’s chief failing remains one that has hobbled them in recent years: wasted chances. It’s not enough to aspire to an extravagant game, and occasionally produce one, without providing a flourish. You could often see at Ellis Park how the team produced opportunities only to be frozen by uncertainty. They had their foot on the throats of the All Blacks, only to release the pressure.

It’s like a dog that chases a car and doesn’t know what to do when it finally catches up.

Such weakness matters little against Scotland or Samoa, but elite teams like Australia and New Zealand present few chances. You can’t afford to show frailty. If you do, they will savage you.

The difference between the Boks, as world number two, and the world champion All Blacks, is how they back themselves. They never panic and have enormous reserves of self-belief. They soak up pressure and exert it themselves, always confident that they will find a way. Any way, as we saw with Richie McCaw’s cocky try that spoke of their swagger and innovation. They’re always daring, always different.

Was it legal or not? It doesn’t matter. The score is in the book. Chalk it up to All Black cunning.

BallerEasily the best feature of the Boks is their hard physical edge. Watching closely from the sidelines, it was staggering to see how brutal players like Schalk Burger and Bismarck du Plessis are. Big men, they throw themselves about and smash into players constantly. I’ve seen car crashes that were less violent. Too bad the Boks ran out of gas towards the end; a worrying reality.

Last week’s game was of an incredibly high standard and it was obvious the Boks are trying to broaden their game. Many of their best moves were inspired by Damian De Allende and Jesse Kriel providing punch and panache in the midfield. It was a combination that came together through accident rather than by design and it looks outstanding. Quite how, or where, Jean de Villiers fits in will be a major problem for Heyneke Meyer to ponder. Maybe De Allende could switch to wing.

There were other small victories. Lood de Jager was compelling. He’s a real giraffe of a man; busy, bustling, bruising. Francois Louw remains the quiet, sinister assassin and Willie le Roux has shaken off his self-doubt. When his instincts are tuned in, he’s as lethal as Ben Smith and Israel Folau.

The one thing we should get used to is the certainty that the Boks will not be at full strength come the World Cup. But neither will the other big guns.

Injury has visited all the major teams and it will be touch and go whether some top players get on the plane. Such is the nature of the modern game with its enduring fixture list and violent physical cost.

Although Argentina lie in wait, the Boks can take heart from Du Plessis’ homespun wisdom. They are there or thereabouts. With a little tinkering and greater conviction, they might even scare the All Blacks. – © Sunday Tribune